Archive for July, 2011

How to Make Friends As an Adult

Making friends is generally easier for children than for adults.

Don’t get me wrong, social contact can be stressful for children too. They often have reservations about strangers that make them hesitant to interact with other children. They lack the social grace and emotional development to handle conflict, and have no control about planning their social lives beyond the environment into which their parents introduce them. Being a child has its limitations.

But in spite of those limitations children seem to have a natural instinct for bonding. I have often seen my own pre-school children enter a public park, approach other children, and immediately fall into a playful friendship. By the end of the day they will know the other children’s’ names and have common experiences that they will remember throughout their childhood.

How is it that the process of meeting new friends is so challenging when we enter adulthood? Do we lose something in the process of growing older? Or are there environmental factors that impede with our ability to meet new people and develop meaningful relationships?

Obviously time and social norms present complications. Grown ups are busy. And we don’t just fall into fall into play with the people we meet at work or the grocery store. However, I think we can overcome the difficulties presented by adulthood if we take some lessons from the way children approach friendship.

Here are a few lessons kids can teach us grown-ups about how to make friends.

  • Have fun – Kids have one thing in common. They are all just looking for something fun to do. They are able to put their personality differences aside and bond around the common goal of having a good time. As adults, we tend to take life more seriously, and personality differences become a huge gap that eliminates opportunities for casual friendships with others. We need to be less picky about whom we interact with and learn to just chat and have fun with those around us at work, in line at the grocery store, or at the local cafe. If we learn to have fun casually, friendships will develop everywhere.
  • Share toys – Give a group of children some water guns or a ball to kick and they will be playing together in no time. Toys offer something fun to bond around. This technique can work for grown-ups also. The next time you go to a gathering full of strangers, pull out a deck of cards, a karaoke machine, or a box of Lego blocks, and I can guarantee you won’ be playing alone for long. Toys take the pressure off conversation and immediately promote a playful and fun atmosphere.
  • Be curious – Kids ask questions. Sometimes rather embarrassing questions. But they really want to learn things about the people around them. As adults we tend to get wrapped up in our own lives and wander around each other without really interacting. Make an effort to pay attention to the people around you and to honestly become interested in their lives. Stop and ask a coworker how their family is doing, or about their hobbies and interests; they’ll likely respond with a grateful smile and a long conversation.
  • Let things go – Children can fight over something and be best friends a minute later. They are willing to put their grudges aside. As adults we tend to hold onto grudges longer; we disagree with each other’s political views, religious preferences, odious habits, and everything else imaginable. We believe that we’ve earned the right to do so because we put so much work into forming our opinions. But if we want to make friends, we need to put these differences aside and instead focus on what fun we can create in spite of those differences. As adults we burn a lot of bridges; children are too busy having a good time building bridges. Learn to leave grudges in the past.

Adult Dyslexia Signs and Symptoms – How to Know If You Are Suffering From Dyslexia

Dyslexia is becoming an eye opener now because people are more aware of the condition they have and willing to subject themselves to adult dyslexia test and treatment. Years ago people will not believe about reading and learning disability and they just tag you as slow learner, lazy or simply not as intelligent as other kids without giving the proper treatment. But now with the awareness of this disorder, you and the people around you are more adept to deal with this disorder. Although there are most cases that dyslexia are diagnosed when they are already an adult. But now that dyslexia is openly identified as a serious condition, you should immediately seek professional help once you suspect that you are suffering from dyslexia signs and symptoms.

There are many ways to know if you are suffering from dyslexia. As an adult, it is your responsibility to identify if you have dyslexia signs and symptoms through proper tests and evaluations. You should seek professional help to effectively get the necessary treatment. Here are some dyslexia signs and symptoms that would indicate you have dyslexia.

Direction Confusion. One dyslexia signs and symptoms is difficulty recognizing directions. It comes in many forms like difficulty in recognizing left and right, up and down, following maps and compass and following instructions. Directional confusion is also the reason why dyslexics interchange letters like b and d, p and q, n and u etc. Dyslexics are confused not only in letters but in numbers too, you may read or write 16 to 61.

Spelling Difficulties. Another dyslexia signs and symptoms is the difficulty to spell simple and troublesome words. You may find it difficult to spell even simple short words. Other words are spelled the way they are spoken like please to plese, knock to nock and search to serch.

Math and sequences difficulties. Difficulties understanding math lessons and conceptualizing sequences is another dyslexia signs and symptoms you must observe. It is a big challenge for dyslexics to understand numbers in correct order or to reverse that order. You may find it hard to count to 100 forwards and backwards. Due to short term memory, dyslexics may also find it hard to understand mathematical operations like multiplications and divisions.

Comprehension difficulties. Dyslexia is not only limited to written words but in some cases even in speech recognition. Another dyslexia signs and symptoms you must be aware of is comprehension difficulties. You may find it hard to retain what is said to you and may not be able to repeat the words said to you. It is also hard for you to follow instructions or follow 3 or more procedures that you need to do.

Having these dyslexia signs and symptoms can be a serious condition but it is not that complicated if you immediately seek professional help and address the problem.

Did you know that you can run a more comprehensive dyslexia test at home if you suspect that you have any dyslexia signs and symptoms mentioned above? The first internet performance-based dyslexia test for adults is now available. Find out right now if you are showing any signs of dyslexia! This is the only dyslexia test that simply runs within your web-browser – no CD or delivery required. Visit Adult Dyslexia Screening Online

To know more about health and beauty remedies visit Great Discovery-Health and Beauty

Gerry Restrivera writes informative articles on various subjects including Adult Dyslexia Signs and Symptoms: How to Know if You are Suffering from Dyslexia. You are allowed to publish this article in its entirety provided that author’s name, bio and website links must remain intact and included with every reproduction.

Second Language Acquisition in Adult Learners

In our previous mini-article entitled “Language Acquisition vs. Language Learning” we mentioned an important distinction in the way in which children acquire their mother tongue naturally, by means of meaningful interactions with their parents in which the focus of every single exchange is communicative in nature.

Adults, in contrast, when trying to learn a second language, are usually presented with a myriad of grammar rules and patterns to master from the very first class. It is said by advocates of these procedures, that their cognitive development cannot be equalled to that of a child and that statement is very true indeed. However, the fact that there are important cognitive and developmental differences between children and adults does not by any means imply that language should be presented devoid of any meaning as a rigid set of rules and patterns which are essential to master. Advocates of this school have the perception that every single piece of the puzzle they teach (i.e. a certain pattern, rule, tense, etc) is going to be inserted into the big picture one day and the puzzle will be perfectly complete for the student to see and use. In reality, students simply receive piece after piece after piece of a big something that they are never able to tell what it is or when they will be able to see it, if ever.

Have you ever tried to make a really big puzzle without an overal picture of what it would look like when finished? If you have, you will have noticed that it may be a very frustrating and draining activity, with no clear goals and objectives. Every effort you make seems to be meaningless and you usually feel like drifting around aimlessly and purposelessly. Isn´t it part an parcel of the Second language teaching profession to find thousands of adult learners who could recite a grammar book by heart but nevertheless are unable to communicate basic ideas naturally and fluently_ if it is that they can communicate them at all?

This, of course, does not have any resemblance to the way in which a first language is acquired. Nor does it mean that children and adults acquire a first and a second language in precisely the same way. There are obvious differences among children and adults learning a second language.

What was highlighted in our previous article is the need for language to be meaningful at all times, and this is common ground for both children and adults alike. Language without meaningful communication is as useless as Valentine’s Day without lovers or Children’s day without any kids (I apologize for using the same analogy as in my previous article)

However, a quick look at present-day language courses clearly shows that this is not the case at all. You will see from the very first lesson, that the students have laundry lists of words to master and memorize, grammar, vocabulary, grammar and more vocabulary to make them feel they can even “touch” the language, those pretty “tangible” patterns they learn lesson after lesson that make them feel so secure and confident. The truth is, in the vast majority of cases, that whenever presented with a REAL situation in which they have to use the language, more often than not they dry up and are unable to utter two coherent phrases altogether. Are they to blame for their “failure?” Of course not. If what you are trained to do exclusively is grammar , repetitions and drills, you cannot be expected to produce something different, something communicative. The magic
“click” that is supposed to take place in the students’ brains after constant hammering and repetition apparently never takes place_ or if it does, in the best of cases, it is in less than 2 per cent of the learners.

What does this show? Clearly it is an indicator that must make us reflect on the importance of our teaching practices. Just because we as teachers learned things in a certain way does NOT mean that it is THE way. Pragmatic results clearly show that a grammar based approach to teaching a language is highly ineffective since language per definition entails communication. Until we come to understand this simple fact, we will keep seeing students dropping out of their language studies because “they are too hard for them, they are not cut out to learn a second language” and statements like these. And they may be true… They do NOT need to learn a second language. Then need to acquire it in all the sense of the word.